


The Man With the Twisted Face

by livwrites



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, Death Eaters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 19:08:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6341596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livwrites/pseuds/livwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Antonin Dolohov. Everybody knows about him: he's a famous Death Eater who killed many members of the Order of the Phoenix. But he wasn't always a Death Eater; in fact, he started his life opposed to their ideology. Originally posted at harrypotterfanfiction.com under the username BellaLestrange87.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

The Dolohov family had always been considered pure-blood supremacists, leaders in the advocacy of anything to do with getting rid of Muggle-borns. In fact, Avelina and Eldred Dolohov were among Voldemort's first supporters, waiting for him at the Hog's Head when he went to that fateful interview with Albus Dumbledore. So it was only fitting that any child of theirs would spend their childhood being groomed to join the ranks of the Death Eaters, the inner circle that would spearhead the glorious revolution to create a wonderful new age.  
  
This wonderful revolution would begin quietly, maybe only with the elimination of one or two problematic ministers, and then it would move faster, gaining momentum as more and more people realised the inevitability of a pure-blood Ministry and joined the Cause. They would have to be watched, those people, lest they simply be tricksters trying to take advantage of true believers.  
  
The Glorious Revolution, all capitalized, as it would be called in the rewritten history books, was not simply something that young pure-bloods fantasized about at playtime. They did, however, encouraged by their proud parents, who were farsighted enough to recognize that having 5-year-olds believing in the Cause would raise their stature with the Dark Lord (who would be pleased to see loyal followers raising future Death Eaters).  
  
It was into this world, a curious mixture of confidence and hatred, that Antonin Dolohov was born in 1955. It was ten years after Albus Dumbleore had defeated Gellert Grindelwald, an event that all respectable pureblood society agreed was a setback. However, the Cause, inevitable as it was, would go on.  
  
When Dolohov was born there was the biggest storm in a year. Standing proudly at the foot of the bed holding his son as the rain furiously lashed and pounded the cobblestone driveway outside, he said that the storm would represent his son: the leader of the next generation of faithful to the Dark Lord, one that would see the Revolution happen, in their childhood if the timing was right. If not, they would be adults, old enough to actively take part and appreciate their elders' hard work.  
  
But, to the increasing consternation of his parents, young Antonin showed no interest in pureblood supremacy. He didn't appear to care about it at all, in fact. When his father explained to him the details of the Revolution and the part he would play, he would listen respectfully, but no more, and scamper off to play as soon as Eldred Dolohov had reached the part where the Revolution succeeded. To a seven-year-old, pureblood politics was both boring and confusing. Antonin had never seen one of these things his father called "Mudbloods", so, he decided, he couldn't judge them until he had. It didn't seem fair.  
  
Fairness was another thing his father talked about, how the Dark Lord (who Antonin never saw, and who seemed to be this scary figure that hovered in the background) was equal and just when rewarding his followers who had served him well. Antonin couldn't help but see that his daddy, who was loving, caring, and kind, turned into some kind of scary monster, fierce, with a menacing glint in his eye, when he talked about anything related to the Dark Lord. Antonin began, at the age of eight, to fear this scary man that he had never seen.     
  
On their part, the adult Dolohovs were becoming more and more concerned about their son's lack of interest in the greatest struggle of their life. They loved him with all their hearts, and so they refused to disown him, especially when there was still ten years before he became an adult, but his interest in going to meet with Mudbloods was embarrassing. They feared the repurcussions if the Dark Lord visited and caught Antonin talking like that. Even though he didn't know any better, they knew well enough that their master wouldn't see it that way.  
  
Then, the year Antonin turned fifteen, just when they were about to give up hope and do what they had secretly steeled themselves to do for the last 8 years, he met a girl. 


	2. A Reluctant Slytherin

1966 was an important year. For many, it was a time of marriages, of betrothals, or of divorces. For Antonin Dolohov, it was the year he started at Hogwarts. His parents had been dropping hints for a while, suggesting that there he would find his true path in life with the best house, ideas that made Antonin's skin crawl and caused an uncomfortable pit of dread to form in his stomach. It couldn't be that bad, could it? All he had to do was avoid being sorted into Slytherin and he would be okay.  
  
So it was that on September 1, 1966 Antonin Dolohov, with all his school supplies and accompanying owl arrived at King's Cross Station to board the Hogwarts Express. His father, a Death Eater through and through, had asked that young Antonin be allowed to wait in Hogsmeade village for the train and get to Hogwarts that way. The Headmaster had refused, which caused Eldred Dolohov to grumble and complain about blood traitors and muggle-lovers for a week.  
  
Antonin, relatively young and innocent (as innocent as possible given that he was the son of two Death Eaters) at the tender of age 11, was underwhelmed by his first sighting of a Muggle. They looked the same as an ordinary wizard did, even though they didn't use magic or know anything about the wizarding world. In fact, some of their machinery looked fascinating. For example, many times Antonin found himself staring at long squares that he heard the Muggles call cars. They would sit in these things, smoke would pour out of a hole in the back, and they would travel in them. Much as it appeared to be a lot slower than Apparition or Floo Powder, it looked interesting and Antonin wished he could try it.   
  
After passing the barrier to Platform 9 and 3/4, Antonin's mother pulled him aside before he got onto the train.  
  
"Now," she said, in a tone of voice that was both pretentious and condescending and made Antonin's insides squirm, "you're off to Hogwarts today! Because of that, today is very important. At Hogwarts, you'll make lots of new friends, and get Sorted into your house. I know your father hopes you will follow in our family's footsteps and get Sorted into Slytherin, but I take a different view. Even if you end up in Gryffindor, Antonin, you can still follow the right path in life. Who knows? You might meet someone special and change your mind entirely."  
  
Antonin, aware of the fact that other people were boarding the train and that he might be the last one on, squirmed uncomfortably. He didn't want to be left without a seat, and since he didn't know anybody yet he wasn't exactly able to sit with his friends, since he didn't have any yet. He knew that his mother, once again, was pretending to be supportive while subtly trying to nudge him into the Death Eater path.  
  
She kissed him on the cheek and let go of him, holding her left hand in her right, her right thumb caressing almost tenderly the spot where Antonin knew her Dark Mark was. He pulled his trunk up the stairs onto the train with his owl and started looking for compartments. As he had feared, they were all full, because of his mother's speech about becoming a Death Eater just like she was. He would never do that, he was sure. The Dark Mark would never grace his arm.  
  
Only one compartment was empty, or near-empty. The last compartment near the front of the train was privy to a single boy. Antonin shyly slid the door open and asked, "May I sit here? There's nowhere else."  
  
"Certainly," the boy said jovially, then his eyes narrowed. "Wait... you're not a Mudblood, are you?"  
  
Antonin's heart sank. He thought he now knew the sort of person this boy was. He would get along wonderfully with his parents.  
  
"No," he forced himself to say, "I'm a pure-blood." He noticed that as soon as he said 'pure-blood', the other boy became much more inviting all of a sudden.  
  
"Well come on in!" the boy exclaimed. He even got up to help Antonin with his trunk. When it and the owl had been stuffed in an overhead compartment they sat down facing each other.  
  
"So," the boy said conversationally, "I'm Lestrange. Rabastan Lestrange. If you're a pure-blood you've probably heard of my family." He sounded boastful and arrogant, and it was at that moment, sitting in the one remaining compartment as the train left the station, that Antonin realized that he didn't like this boy. If there were any seats anywhere else he would have got up and left, but he had checked every other compartment and they were all full. He was stuck with this unpleasant person who promised to be just like Antonin's parents. In fact, they had occasionally talked about other Death Eaters, and Antonin had overheard the name Lestrange mentioned once or twice.  
  
"And what's your name?" Rabastan Lestrange inquired.  
  
"Antonin Dolohov," Antonin replied, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt. It seemed like his insides had a million agitated butterflies flying around at high speed, and he wouldn't have been able to eat anything even if he hadn't eaten breakfast that morning.  
  
Lestrange looked pleased. "So it's you," he said, "you're the one that everyone talks about."  
  
"Wh-what?" stammered Antonin.  
  
"You're Mr and Mrs Dolohov's odd son, the one that refuses to become a Death Eater, to follow the tradition set by generations and work for our supremacy? Why?"  
  
Antonin turned very pale and muttered something almost incomprehensible about 'Muggles are innocent' and 'they're normal just like us'.  
  
Lestrange seized on that almost immediately. "But they're not just like us," he espoused earnestly. "They're savages! They can't use magic, and when we do, they're completely unaware of it! And besides, the Dark Lord is going to become the world's most powerful wizard - if he isn't already - and you want to be on the right side when he becomes our leader." Then, apparently noticing Antonin's petrified expression, he smiled. This gesture, intended perhaps to be friendly, only discomfited Antonin further, as Rabastan Lestrange's smiles were self-righteous sneers. "Don't worry," he consoled Antonin, "you'll come around. They always do."  
  
Antonin nodded slowly, barely hearing what the other boy had said, and turned sideways on the seat, drawing his knees up to his chest and curling into a ball.  
  
Much as he wanted Rabastan Lestrange, this intimidating, arrogant boy to stop talking and leave him alone, Rabastan Lestrange wanted to befriend this quiet, shy, anxious kid. He thought that Antonin would eventually see the light and when that happened he would be the one to help him into the pure-blood world. It was a world that Antonin had been left out of for 11 years as the Dolohovs had started leaving their only son at home when they met other servants of the Dark Lord at social events to plot and scheme.  
  
So he kept prying, hoping to find some topic that Antonin could open up about. Surely the boy - and he thought of Antonin as 'boy' even though they were the same age - had some hobbies. He couldn't have been left in the dark with nothing to do for 11 years, could he?  
  
"So," Rabastan said conversationally, "what house do you want to be in? I'm hoping for Slytherin, of course, like the rest of my family. Although, you know, Ravenclaw isn't all that bad either. Anything but Hufflepuff. That's the reject house. Anyone who doesn't belong in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin goes to Hufflepuff. They're all about fair play, which is why they haven't won a House Cup in the three years since my brother started. He's going into fourth year, and he's a Slytherin, of course. Maybe I can introduce you to him. His name's Rodolphus."  
  
Antonin, once again, had found Rabastan to be tedious once again. He didn't really like this boy, and didn't at all want to meet this brother of his. In fact, Antonin was beginning to find the prospect of disappearing in a huge castle vastly appealing. After hearing Rabastan talk about the houses, he had decided that he wanted to be a Hufflepuff when he was Sorted. From his description, they seemed friendly, and they would understand him when he said that he didn't want to become a Death Eater. Sometimes after a Death Eater meeting his father would come home ranting about Ministry officials and how they were 'damn cowards, all of them'. Every friend of his father's seemed to have been Sorted into Slytherin, and if Rabastan was going there he certainly didn't want to.  
  
As it got dark outside, both boys went and changed into their robes, then returned to their compartment. Thankfully, Rabastan was silent, perhaps thinking about his glorious future as a Death Eater. Antonin neither knew nor cared. Finally, the train shuddered to a stop, and the two boys left the compartment, Rabastan more eagerly than Antonin. After making it out through the crush of people, they exited onto the platform. A giant, bearded man was standing in the middle, obstructing the way, shouting "Firs' years! Firs' years this way!"  
  
Antonin said nothing and followed this man. When he got close to him and looked straight up, he thought that the man didn't have a beard; rather, it seemed like the beard had a face.  
  
Once all the first-years had gathered, the man said, "Follow me. We'll be gettin' to Hogwarts by boat." He led them down a path to a lake, where they boarded a fleet of what looked like leaky rowboats.  
  
"Four to a boat," the man announced as he sat by himself in the middle of the first one, which nearly sank under him as he talked.  
  
"We don't have to... row, or anything, do we?" said a familiar voice in Antonin's ear. Startled, he turned around to see Rabastan, who had gotten into the same boat as him.  
  
"No, Lestrange," the man said. When Rabastan looked surprised he said, "Ye look jus' like yer brother." Under his breath he muttered, "Hopefully ye don' act like him."  
  
The boats, just as this man had said, did not need to be rowed. They moved all by themselves across the lake into an alcove under a huge castle. Getting out, they all formed a line and followed the man up flights of stairs that seemed to never end. Finally, they arrived at the top, tired and out of breath. Waiting for them was a tall witch with black hair pulled back into a harsh bun.  
  
"Welcome to Hogwarts," she said, "Before you are Sorted I need to say a few words. Here at Hogwarts we have four houses: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin." Behind Antonin, Rabastan made a sound that vaguely resembled what a sneer would be like if it could be articulated. "These houses will be like your home for the seven years that you will be here. Treat it as such." She turned and motioned open the door, giving everyone a glimpse of a huge hall filled with all the older students. They walked in, past everyone who was staring at them.  
  
The woman led them up to the front of the room. Antonin, for his part, expected a huge ceremony involving everyone.  
  
He did not expect a beaten-up old hat on a stool.  
  
And he certainly did not expect that beaten-up old hat to start singing. It sang, in a terrible, reedy voice, a song about the four houses and the qualities they favoured. As the song went on, Antonin found himself favouring Hufflepuff more and more. Finally, the song ended and the woman produced a scroll from a pocket of her deep-green robes. Antonin wondered if this woman was the Head of Slytherin.  
  
"I am going to call your names, one by one," she said, "and you will come up and place the hat on your head. It will shout out the House you are sorted into." She called out the first name. "Black, Narcissa!"  
  
A short girl with long blonde hair and a face full of acne walked up. As soon as the hat touched her head, it yelled out "Slytherin!" The table on the far right burst out in applause and cheers.  
  
"Bones, Edgar!"  
  
"Ravenclaw!" The table next to Slytherin clapped vigorously. Antonin noticed that they appeared much more friendly than the Slytherin table and thought that he wouldn't mind going there, either.  
  
"Diggle, Dedalus!"  
  
"Gryffindor!"  
  
The table on the opposite side burst into applause as they welcomed their newest Gryffindor. Dedalus Diggle was a small, mousy wizard who looked very excitable as he almost ran to join his new House.  
  
"Dolohov, Antonin!"  
  
Antonin's stomach dropped into his feet. He forced himself to walk up to the stool and sit while the Hat was placed on his head. It began to talk to him, which was quite a shock for him, especially when he was already scared.  
  
 _Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff_ , he thought vigorously, hoping the hat could hear him.  
  
"Hufflepuff, why Hufflepuff?" the hat said in his ear. "You'll do fine there, sure, but think of your other options. Like Slytherin!" This last word was louder, so much so that for a moment Antonin feared it had decided. It had. The Slytherin table, which had been deathly silent during his Sorting, now started clapping.  
  
Silently, and trying to hide his anguish at being Sorted into the one house he had hoped to avoid, Antonin got up off the stool and made his way over to the Slytherin table. He sat down, wanting to be left alone. Instead, he was immediately approached by a girl who slid down the bench to talk to him.  
  
"Hello there," she said, smiling to reveal fine white teeth. "Welcome to the best house." Antonin thought she was rather scary, with her long, curly black hair that framed a face that, for all its aristocratic beauty, was rather intimidating. Her heavily-lidded eyebrows had very long eyelashes, and she seemed as though she was on the verge of breaking into a burst of hysterical laughter.  
  
Antonin nodded quietly, hoped she would stop looking at him like he was prey, and waited for the Sorting to finish. When Rabastan was Sorted into Slytherin, just like he said, he practically bounced over, clapped Antonin on the back and started talking to the girl like they were best friends.  
  
When the Sorting was over, Professor Dumbledore - Antonin recognized him immediately, even if he had never seen him in person before - stood up, said a few words, and then waved for the feast to begin. Antonin wasn't all that hungry. The prospect of spending seven years in Slytherin house, a group of future Death Eaters (and, in the older years, probably current Death Eaters), was less than appealing and he wanted to disappear back to his room at home, filled with books and all his favourite toys. There, at least, was familiar.  
  
The feast finished and everybody rose up. Antonin had no idea where to go and just followed the rest of his house down several flights of moving stairs. Eventually, they ended up in the dungeons, which were cold and dank and made Antonin wish he had a cloak of some sort. They made their way straight to a stone wall, and stopped. Confused, Antonin tried to see around everybody, but failed. He heard somebody say, "Salazar" and then there was a grinding sound, like two stone walls were being rubbed against each other. Everybody started shuffling forward again and Antonin followed. They walked into a greenish-tinged room. It was dark and appeared quite uninviting. Hard-looking leather couches abounded along with brown, almost black mahogany tables. Antonin thought it was quite a dismal place as even the fires burning in the fireplaces appeared cold.  
  
One boy about 16, turned to face the rest of them.  
  
"First-years, your dormitories are over there." He pointed in the direction of a stairwell on the other side of the common room. "Girls on the left, boys on the right. Your trunks will also be there."  
  
Antonin followed Rabastan and a few others his own age to their dormitory. Again, he was disappointed. Where he wanted bright and welcoming it wasn't. The room was circular and on one wall there was a glass pane where you could see directly into the lake. There were fish swimming by and Antonin thought it was a bit creepy. He found his trunk, changed into his pajamas and crawled into the bed, pulling the dark green curtains shut around him. Green, he thought, was a most ugly colour. Yellow, or even blue, was much closer to what he liked. With that thought in mind he dozed off, the only person in that entire room unhappy with their day.


	3. Outsider

Over the course of the next few weeks, Antonin slowly settled into a rhythm of life at Hogwarts. Initially, some of the older Slytherins, ones who had either already become Death Eaters or who had family who were Death Eaters (so most of them), would approach Antonin and ask him just why he wasn't keen on becoming a Death Eater. After a few awkward conversations that to Antonin felt like monologues on the part of the sixth- and seventh-years who were talking at him, he learned to stay out of the common room, not that he missed it. Instead, he would spend as much of his time as possible in the library, as he quickly realized that the Slytherins rarely ventured in there. Once he had finished any homework he had Antonin would roam around and find books that he thought were interesting.  
  
Once he searched for Muggle history, as he wanted to know more about these people that he kept staunchly defending to scary seventh-years who looked like they hadn't seen a razor in their life. He was disappointed in what he found. For what seemed like a long time, Antonin had been describing Muggles as peace-loving innocents who had never done anything to harm anybody. This book went completely against what he had believed. The author wrote of wars, horrible wars, in which the Muggles brutally murdered millions of each other. To Antonin's shock, as he kept reading he found that the wars weren't just rare occurrences; they happened a lot. He found wars from all over the planet, some in places he didn't even know existed. And the things they did to each other during these wars! Antonin didn't know what to say, or what to think. They were brutal, and sometimes he couldn't even figure out what exactly had caused the war in the first place.      
  
As he sat there in the library with this book in his hands Antonin began to wonder if he had been wrong all along. He still would never join the Death Eaters, but he began to wonder if he had been a little too pro-Muggle, when the only time he had seen them had been during the brief minute or so before he had boarded the train to come to Hogwarts.  
  
A small seed of doubt had been planted in his brain - only a small one, true, but it was a seed that in time would bear bitter fruit.  
  
*  
  
It was the middle of November, and it was cold and blustery; the perfect day, it seemed, for a Quidditch match. Antonin was interested in Quidditch in a rather detached way; the sport was a way of distracting himself from the rest of his house and focus on something other than how he wished he was a Hufflepuff.  
  
The match was between Hufflepuff and Slytherin, and Antonin felt torn; he wanted to support Hufflepuff but couldn't, and he didn't want to support Slytherin but felt he had to. Much as he was avoiding the rest of his house, he did have to go through the common room in the mornings and at night, and since he was a first-year with an early curfew that made it easy for some of the older students to badger him with aggressive questions.  
  
That morning, he made sure to sleep in a little later than the rest of his dorm. Not late enough to miss the match, but late enough so that he was the last one in his dorm and could leave uninterrupted. Still, Rabastan woke him up before leaving for breakfast to ask whether or not Antonin wanted to sit with them. He didn't, but muttered back that he'd sleep for a bit and catch up with them later, knowing full well that he would find someone else to sit with instead.  
  
Antonin timed his entry into the Great Hall carefully. He knew that Rabastan and the rest of his group - who mostly consisted of other probable future Death Eaters; boys with last names like Crabbe or Travers - would probably leave early to try and get good seats for the match. In order to avoid them he sat at the opposite end of the table, right in front of the head table where the professors sat as they ate breakfast. Once he noticed that Rabastan and his gang had left he waited a few minutes and then followed them, at a very safe distance, down to the Quidditch pitch.  
  
On his way there Antonin realized that he didn't have anyone to sit with. His policy of avoiding his entire house by cocooning himself in the library worked well for that purpose but it didn't exactly help him meet people. The only people he talked to regularly were Madam Pince when she shooed him out of the library at closing time, Rabastan and the rest of their dorm, and occasionally his teachers. In class he was very quiet and rarely talked, only speaking when he was directly asked a question. Despite this he still paid careful attention and made sure to do all his homework. He wanted to do well in all his classes so that he could have a good future once he had graduated from Hogwarts. In one respect, that was an area where Rabastan and his other friends had an advantage: they knew they were going to become Death Eaters when they finished seventh year (or perhaps before that). Antonin wasn't going to become a Death Eater, and since he knew his parents wouldn't agree with that he was going to have to find a career.  
  
As he walked by himself up the path he noticed a group of boys in front of him. They looked to be about his size and they were laughing merrily among themselves, their red and gold scarves hanging limply around their necks. Antonin mentally crossed his fingers and went up to them.  
  
"Can I sit with you guys?" he asked hopefully, wishing desperately for a positive response.  
  
He was disappointed. The boys turned around to look at him and turned hostile almost immediately.  
  
"What do you want, Slytherin?" one of them asked. His red hair flapped in his face as he glared at Antonin. "Go off and play with your Death Eater friends."  
  
This unfriendly response unsettled Antonin. "I don't have any Death Eater friends," he replied quietly.  
  
"What are you then, an outsider?" the boy said coldly. "Get lost, Slytherin."  
  
Slightly crestfallen, Antonin hurried past them and walked very quickly to the pitch, trying to hide his disappointment. Sure, they were Gryffindors, and he was a Slytherin, and the two houses had a gigantic rivalry going on, especially with You-Know-Who in the background, but he didn't think that was reason for them to act so rude.  
  
In the pitch he found a seat by himself. It was relatively distant from the Slytherin section of the stands; he could still hear the yelling and cheering from it, but couldn't make out any faces. Around him were people from different houses; he was sitting in front of a Hufflepuff couple who appeared to be a couple and he was sandwiched between two Ravenclaws.  
  
As he watched Madam Hooch release the Bludgers, the Snitch, and finally the Quaffle, Antonin found himself thinking about what the Gryffindor boy had said to him. "What are you then, an outsider?" repeated itself in his brain as the game progressed. He realized that the boy had been right: he was an outsider. He didn't really have any friends in any house, let alone his own, and he didn't spend time with anyone aside from the books in the library.  
  
Antonin watched as the Slytherin chasers threw the Quaffle between themselves faster than their Hufflepuff counterparts could keep up with. When one of them scored, making it 10-0 Slytherin, Antonin stayed still as the Slytherin section of the stadium erupted into cheering.   
  
As the Hufflepuff chasers took the Quaffle, Antonin saw that the Ravenclaw boy sitting beside him was staring at him curiously.  
  
"You're not cheering for your house," the boy observed.  
  
"So?" Antonin said coldly. He was already in a bad mood from the Gryffindor boys earlier and this Ravenclaw pointing out the obvious didn't improve it any.  
  
"I just thought it was curious, that's all," the boy said, unfazed by Antonin's frosty response.  
  
Antonin started to like this boy. "I just don't like my house." He turned to watch the game, and smiled as Hufflepuff scored to even it out.  
  
"You know," the boy said, "there aren't a whole lot of Slytherins who don't like being in Slytherin."  
  
"I guess I'm by myself, then," Antonin replied, leaning back.  
  
"You don't have to be by yourself," the boy said.  
  
Antonin turned to look back at him. "You're a Ravenclaw, not a Slytherin."  
  
"I know," the boy persisted, "but that doesn't mean that we can't be friends." He seemed so hopeful that Antonin couldn't help but say yes.  
  
"Sure," he replied, smiling his first real smile in a long time. "I'm Antonin Dolohov."  
  
"Robert Callaghan," the boy said, smiling back.  
  
Despite Antonin's efforts to suppress it, his father's teaching came back to him and, before he could stop it, he blurted out, "Callaghan? Is that a Muggle name?"  
  
"Yeah... it is," Robert said, looking a bit more wary.  
  
"I'm sorry," Antonin said, horrified with himself. "Both of my parents are" he was about to say Death Eaters but thought better of it, "pure-blood fanatics and they've tried to teach me the same. I'm not going to be like them." He shook his head. "They want me to become a Death Eater and support You-Know-Who. I refuse."  
  
"That's good," Robert said. He didn't look wary anymore; rather, his face seemed open and friendly. He turned to watch the Quidditch match and Antonin did so as well, just in time to see the Hufflepuff and Slytherin seekers fly neck-and-neck at breakneck speed across the pitch.  
  
"Do you think they'll get the Snitch?" Antonin wondered. He was answered by the cheers of the Slytherin section as the Slytherin seeker, his green robes flapping in the wind, raised the Snitch triumphantly above his head as he soared around the pitch.  
  
"Nevermind," he added as an afterthought. "Come on, let's go."  
  
"You don't want to celebrate with your house?" Robert asked.  
  
"Of course not," Antonin replied as they left the pitch. They wandered down the path back to the castle, each lost in their own train of thought. For most of the way they were alone, until Antonin heard the sounds of boisterous laughter coming from the hill behind them. He turned around to see who it was and groaned.  
  
"What?" Robert asked as he turned around. Spotting the group of Gryffindor boys that were coming down the hill, he called out, "Hello Fabian, Gideon."  
  
"Robert," the one called Fabian acknowledged, before turning to Antonin. "Slytherin. What are you doing with a Ravenclaw like Robert? Go hang out with your Death Eater friends."  
  
"Fabian..." the other one, the one called Gideon, said warningly, "stop."  
  
Antonin decided that he didn't like these boys. He already didn't want to be a Slytherin, so why did they have to pick on him about it? Bitterly he wished he could switch houses, to Ravenclaw, where he could be with Robert.  
  
"Fabian, stop," Robert said.  
  
"Shut up, Robert," Fabian said back. "We like Slytherins, especially Death Eater Slytherins."  
  
That was enough for Antonin. "I AM NOT A DEATH EATER!" he screamed, launching himself at Fabian. He didn't even bother to draw his wand (not that he knew very many offensive spells anyway); all he wanted to do was punch the other boy into next year. They rolled around on the ground, trying to land blows even they were basically on top of each other. Antonin didn't have time to wonder why it was just him and Fabian; Robert hadn't moved, neither had Gideon or any of the other Gryffindor boys.  
  
As Antonin rolled on top of Fabian, managing to land one good, solid punch, he heard a shrill "What is going on here?" and then he felt himself go flying through air, away from Fabian. He hit the ground, causing all the breath to rush out his body, and tried to get up again.  
  
He couldn't.  
  
As he struggled against the invisible force that seemed to be holding him down, Antonin saw Madam Hooch rush down the hill, her wand drawn and her eyes raging.  
  
"That is enough!" she shouted. Antonin felt the force release him and he stood up gratefully, wiping blood away from his eye.  
  
"You will both see your Heads of House immediately, and you can tell them what happened. They will punish you accordingly, I am sure." She pocketed her wand. "And if I _ever_ catch you fighting again..." She let the threat hang unfinished.  
  
Antonin turned and began the long trudge down to the dungeon to Professor Slughorn's office, Robert following along beside him.  
  
When they got to Professor Slughorn's office, Antonin turned and said, "See you later, I guess."  
  
Robert balked and responded, "I'm not going anywhere." His words made Antonin happy somehow, as though he truly had a friend.  
  
Professor Slughorn was sitting at his desk marking what looked to be essays when Antonin knocked. He jovially invited them in and said, "What can I do for you, m'boys?" As Antonin told him what had happened his face became more serious and he lost his smile.  
  
"You started a fight?"  
  
"Professor, he didn't start it." Robert spoke up for the first time. "Fabian provoked him."  
  
Slughorn tried and failed to sigh quietly. "Be that at is may, you two were still fighting. You'll have detention with me every night for a week. Make sure to be here tomorrow immediately after dinner Monday so we can start. And ten points will be taken from Slytherin for this."  
  
"Yes, Professor." Antonin started to leave, and then turned back. "Sir, would it be possible for me to talk to Professor Dumbledore?"  
  
"About what?" Slughorn asked.  
  
 _Switching houses into either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff_ , Antonin thought, but he didn't say that, instead replying, "Oh, no reason." Somehow he knew that Slughorn wouldn't look kindly upon prospective defecting Slytherins.  
  
"Mr. Dolohov, I think Professor Dumbledore will need more than "no reason" for you to visit him. He's a very busy man, you see," Slughorn answered.  
  
"Yes, Professor." This time, Antonin left. Outside, he said goodbye to Robert and walked to the library, thinking that he'd hide there until dinner, and maybe avoid the common room altogether. He'd lost ten points from Slytherin. Much as he didn't like his house, he was sure that some of the older student wouldn't like the loss. Right before dinner, Antonin went down to the dungeon to change into different clothes.  
  
"Salazar," he said reluctantly to the stone wall, hoping that no one would notice him. His hopes were dashed when Rabastan came up to him.  
  
"Hello, Antonin," he said. "I heard you beat up that Prewett blood-traitor today." He sounded a bit excited, to Antonin's confusion.  
  
"Yeah," Antonin said slowly. "How... how did you find out about that?"  
  
"I think the whole school knows," Rabastan replied. "He and his brother were complaining about it nonstop coming out of McGonagall's office a while ago. Personally, I think they got what was coming to them."  
  
"Sure," Antonin nodded. "Look, Rabastan, I've got to get changed for dinner." He headed to the dormitory.  
  
"Okay," Rabastan called after him. "When you're done, if you want to come sit with us, you can."  
  
Antonin went and changed with mixed thoughts. For most of his life, he'd been idolizing Muggles and Gryffindors as being better than the Death Eaters that he knew, better than his father, better than his mother. Now he wasn't so sure. His experience with Fabian Prewett this afternoon, as well as the book of Muggle history he'd read had made him doubt his previously cherished opinions.  
  
So he went and sat with Rabastan and his other, probable-future-Death Eater-friends, who included his older brother, Rodolphus, as well as Narcissa and Bellatrix Black, two sisters who couldn't be more physically different. Unbeknownst to Antonin, these were all people he would come to know very well in the future. They greeted him like old friends, as though he had never avoided the common room for two months straight, as though they didn't know that he wasn't supportive of their beliefs. To Antonin's great surprise, he didn't feel like he wanted to get up and run away. He felt comfortable.    


	4. Christmas

As it came close to Christmas Professor Slughorn came around with a list to see if anyone wanted to stay at Hogwarts over the break. After talking with Robert, Antonin decided to sign his name. He didn't want to send a lot of time (or any time, for that matter) at home where he would be quizzed and interrogated about Hogwarts, and about his views on blood purity.

Part of the reason for that was that his views had changed. After the Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch match, the Prewett brothers had gradually become more and more obnoxious. Antonin had no idea what he had done to annoy them other than merely walking up the hill, but they were a menace. And anything he said, anything Robert said, did nothing. Antonin had begun spending more and more time with Rabastan, his brother Rodolphus, Bellatrix Black, and Lucius Malfoy. It was just a way to protect himself, or at least that was what he had told Robert. But the truth was that, while initially it may have been solely for protection, a time went on he began to really enjoy their company and to an extent agree with what they were talking about.

It was easy, Antonin thought upon reflection, to agree with a set of beliefs that said that you were superior in every way to another person, simply because of who your parents were. It was easy to like hearing that people doing better than you in school were doing so only because they had stolen their wand as well as their magic from someone who was more deserving.

Antonin found himself being sucked in by these views. And, he thought to himself, it wasn't like Rabastan and everyone else were bad people or unpleasant to be with. As it became December and the snow started falling he found himself spending more and more time with them out of his own free will and not just out of fear of the Prewetts.

Antonin felt torn between two worlds. In one, he had Robert, who wa the best friend he had ever had, and who was kind and great to be around. In the other he had Rabastan, Rodolphus, Bellatrix Black, and Lucius Malfoy. It was becoming hard to justify to Robert why he was spending so much time with them. Robert knew how hateful the beliefs were, as he told Antonin, and he was afraid that Antonin was going to adopt them and be like them.

Keeping his thoughts in check, Antonin had assured Robert that he would never be a Death Eater and that he would never think less of anyone who was Muggle or was Muggleborn, simply because of their birth.

As he said the second bit Antonin felt sick to his stomach. He was lying and he knew it, and he hated lying to Robert. But he knew that Robert would never remain friends with him if he knew what Antonin thought. While he would never become a Death Eater, he was starting to believe that pure-bloods were better than Muggles and Muggleborns. He did not think they should die or that they should lose their magic. He just thought he was superior, as he told himself at night. So when Robert asked him if he wanted to spend Christmas and Christmas morning with him and his friends in the Ravenclaw common room, Antonin felt extremely conflicted when he said yes.

*

The day before everyone left for break Antonin and Rabastan were sitting in the common room by themselves.

"Antonin," Rabastan asked casually, looking up from the book of curses he had swiped from the Restricted Section, "who's that Ravenclaw boy we keep seeing you with?"

Antonin froze, knowing Rabastan was talking about Robert. "Who?" he asked, feigning innocence.

"There's a Ravenclaw boy that you spend a lot of time with," Rabastan insisted. "You sit with him at the Ravenclaw table a lot."

"Oh, him," Antonin said, trying to downplay his friendship, "his name's Robert."

"Robert," Rabastan said slowly. "Is he muggle-born?"

"I don't know," Antonin said. Yes, he thought silently, he is.

Rabastan said nothing, leaning back against the couch and turning the page.

Antonin didn't know why Rabastan would be interested in his friendship with Robert. He'd never mentioned him in conversation, aside from now, and wasn't sure why it would even matter. Unless Rabastan found out that Robert was muggle-born. Rabastan was a lot more extremist than Antonin was in his views, and Antonin was afraid that Robert would get hurt.

*

On Christmas Day, Antonin met up with Robert and his friends outside the Ravenclaw common room. Antonin hadn't opened up his presents yet. He was convinced that he knew what was already in there: some clothes, some chocolate, and a bunch of books about pure-blood ideology.

To be honest, Antonin thought as he climbed the stairs to Ravenclaw Tower, he was kind of looking forward to reading the books.

When Robert opened the knocker to the common room and led him in, Antonin felt awed. The Ravenclaw common room was impressive. It was so much more warm and homely than the Slytherin common room. There were bookshelves everywhere, filled with leather tomes. Everywhere Antonin looked there was something to encourage creativity - be it a bunch of musical instruments with stands and a pile of sheet music in one corner or an easel with paints in the other.

Antonin looked down at the package he was holding in his hand and handed it to Robert. "I heard you talking about how much you loved these, so I went to Hogsmeade and bought the biggest package I could find. Merry Christmas," he said.

Robert ripped open the wrapping eagerly. Antonin watched happily as Robert's eyes lit up as he saw what was inside.

"Thank you so much! My parents can't afford this and I really wanted it!" He hugged Antonin. "Wait, didn't you say you went to Hogsmeade? We're not allowed to go to Hogsmeade. You didn't get in trouble, did you?"

Antonin shook his head. "No," he said. "Can't get in trouble if you don't get caught."

As Antonin sat down with all of Robert's friends, who he had met before, he felt a little out of place. Robert's friends didn't like him as much as Robert did. Whether that was because he was in Slytherin or because he spent a bunch of his time with the Lestranges and Lucius Malfoy. While Antonin conceded that they had a pretty nasty reputation, he hadn't seen them do anything to deserve that, even if he hadn't spent much time with them outside of their common room and the Great Hall for meals.

As they began talking about their families Antonin felt even more out of place. They were all talking about things he had never heard of before, things like television and cars. While they were chatting merrily, Antonin sat there mutely, listening.

It occurred to him that he could simply leave, go back down to the Slytherin common room, and open his presents, but he didn't want to do that just yet. He was, as far as he knew, one of the only people in Slytherin house who had stayed at school. The common room seemed empty at night, desolate, and even more cold and unwelcoming than it usually did. In addition, he didn't think that his parents would be too happy with him for choosing to stay at school. They'd owled him his presents yesterday morning, but he didn't know if they were happy or not.

After a while of deliberation, occasionally chipping in to the conversation, Antonin decided to get up and leave. As he said his goodbyes to Robert and his friends and headed downstairs he felt conflicted. While he liked spending time with Robert more than he did Rabastan, Rodolphus, Lucius, and Bellatrix, he didn't really like Robert's friends, and he knew that the feeling was mutual. Antonin didn't really consider himself friends with Lucius Malfoy or Rodolphus Lestrange, but the older boys welcomed him nonetheless, unlike Robert's friends. And while Antonin had a feeling that it was because they were trying to get him to become a Death Eater, he, at this point, just wanted friends, no matter the presence of any ulterior motives. Besides, he would just continue to say no to any demands or requests they might have.

Antonin reached the Slytherin common room, said the password - _Purity_ \- and went to his dorm. The common room itself was deserted, the fire on its last gasp in the hearth.

His presents were on his bed, a rolled-up scroll of parchment on top. Unfolding it, Antonin scanned it quickly.

 _Dear Antonin,_ he read, _Professor Slughorn owled us to let us know that you were going to be staying at Hogwarts over the Christmas break. The Lestranges stopped by for lunch today and Rabastan and Rodolphus told us that you've been spending a lot of time with them. It's absolutely wonderful to hear that you've been making friends. We've send your Christmas presents in the attached package. Since you never told us what you wanted, we had to guess; if you don't like anything, please send it back and we'll buy something you actually want._

Love,

Mum and Dad

Antonin opened the package. There were a lot of things inside and they immediately spilled all over his bed. There were many large books: _A History of Blood Purity in Britain, Taint: Mudbloods and Magic,_ and _Gellert: A Biography of The Darkest Wizard in History_ , among others. He set them aside, knowing he would read them later. They were all, judging from their titles, books that had been removed from the library when Dumbledore became Headmaster.

There were other things, too: a handsome fur cloak that would keep Antonin extremely warm in the snow, several expensive-looking quills, and lots and lots of boxes of chocolate. Antonin opened them and looked through them, thinking that he'd eat them slowly and savour each one, but actually being quite aware of the fact that he'd eat them all by the time break ended and everyone came back. There wouldn't be any chocolate left for Rabastan to steal when he got here, thief that he was.

After opening his presents, Antonin grabbed _A History of Blood Purity in Britain_ and curled up on his bed with one of the boxes of chocolate. He became thoroughly engrossed in the book and only put it down when it was time for dinner. By that time, of course, he had eaten so much chocolate that he wasn't hungry.

By the time that Rabastan got back to school, the day before classes started back up again, Antonin had finished all the chocolate, read all his books, and was thoroughly bored. He had even owled his parents to ask for more books to read because the library had none.

His parents received his owl and, surprised, wondered aloud to each other about how much their son had changed in just 3 and a half months.


End file.
